Planet Destroyer and a Clown Sittin' in a Tree
by Aspiring-Creator
Summary: Life... is about to get a hundred times more strange once a planet destroyer and a clown stripper meet as this love is about to get mad. UnicronFan, if you're readin' this, then be prepared for a three chapter long tale about this fun pairing. This is an AU and the story will become NSFW halfway through the second chapter. (Human Unicron X New 52 Harley Quinn). 1 out of 3 done.


_Author's Note:  
><em>

**Well... this is interesting, now normally I wouldn't do requests but this one is special. So one of my first reviewers, besides Supreme-Chickenlord, wanted me to write a story involving Unicron (G1 Marvel Continuity with a human form and with his god powers) and Harley Quinn (New 52 Continuity) slash fanfiction and I gotta say... this makes sense. Unicron was a multiversal being that I imagine would indeed have a human form in one of the universes that he visits and as for Harley Quinn... well if she can be seduced by the Joker then I don't see why she can't be seduced by Unicron. So sit back and enjoy the madness.**

* * *

><p>"Ugh... where am I?" An orange horned robot asked himself as he floated endlessly in what looked to be a white void.<p>

"Welcome to purgatory, Unicron." a mysterious voice had said, causing Unicron to quickly jolt his whole body around while getting into a fighting pose.

"Who dares to address me?!" Unicron demanded while he attempted to transform but was shocked when he couldn't. The voice laughed before he replied to the destroyer of worlds.

"I... Primus, dare to address you." Unicron then looked to notice a giant glowing orb that began to take a shape that he recognized as the body of his positive counterpart, Primus. Unicron scoffed at the sight before he began.

"You are not Primus... Primus is alive through the Matrix that houses his life force." Unicron retorted with an angry tone. The entity just laughed again.

"You're right, I am not Primus, I am the sentient core of the universe, otherwise known as The One that created Primus and you my friend have done horrific crimes in this current body." The entity said with a stern tone while pointing at the former destroyer.

"Bwa, ha, ha, ha, ha. I don't care what you think about what I did. My destruction will only bring about the RESURRECTION OF MY CULT!" Unicron growled with one fist clenched. The One merely scoffed.

"That will not do... Unicron, I hereby strip you of your robot body and you shall be banished to a far universe where you can not and I repeat, CAN NOT, cause any more trouble for Cybertron, Optimus Prime, or any other lifeforms!" The One said right before he slammed his fist into the ground, opening up a dark hole in the white void. Unicron roared as he made a charge for the entity only to be sucked into the portal.

"NOOOOOO!" Unicron yelled as the portal shut with him inside, causing the entity to form a smile just mere moments before he dissipated.

* * *

><p>(<em>Wayne Manor: Bat Cave<em>)

"What is troubling you sir?" Alfred questioned his friend, Bruce Wayne after he noticed a strange shift in his facial expression. Bruce then turned to his butler with the stern expression still intact and spoke.

"My computer detected a strange anomaly that appears to be right above Arkham Asylum." the billionaire said as he quickly approached the armory with Alfred following right behind.

"Is the Joker making a mess of things again?" The butler questioned while Bruce began to suit up.

"Not likely, the energy doesn't appear to be something that Joker can easily get his hands on but at the same time, it doesn't look like it's alien in nature." Bruce said just as he put up the cowl and started to make his way towards the Batmobile. Alfred then stroked his chin before he spoke once again.

"Is that so, shall I make a call to the Justice League then?" Alfred asked to which Bruce just shook his head.

"I can handle this." Bruce replied as the cockpit of the Batmobile closed over his body and right as he started inputting the controls. Alfred then returned to his duties right after Bruce had drove off into the night.

* * *

><p>(<em>Arkham Asylum Outskirts<em>)

Arkham Asylum, a place that is often considered the 'Harvard for Psychopaths', a place that is infamous for failing on a regular basis to keep criminals out of the streets with the escape rate increasing and decreasing in sporadic intervals almost every year, was about to get a new resident as a dark portal had opened up above the facility, spitting out a male figure before it disappeared. The figure fell into a nearby dumpster, startling the guard right next to it. Nervously, the guard checked inside of the large green container and was shocked when he saw an unconscious naked Caucasian man. The man was quite muscular for he had eight pack abs and biceps that might even make the Batman blush, he also had long black hair, a goatee and a scar across his chest. The guard, right after he convinced himself that this wasn't a threat, started to poke at the civilian in an attempt to wake him up.

"Hey, there shall be no sleepin' in a dumpster buddy." The guard said as his poking went at a much more vigorous rate. Finally the man awoke with his emerald green eyes shooting open, scaring the guard off and causing him to try and call for backup. The man jumped straight out of the dumpster and took a long look at his surroundings, only to be stopped by a figure in a long dark costume that was in the shape of a humanoid bat.

"Tell me what exactly you are here for." The bat figure ordered with an aggressive tone, the nude man didn't pay much attention as he then approached a nearby mirror and once he saw his reflection, his jaw dropped in shock.

"That fool wasn't joking at all when he said that my robot body would be gone." Unicron thought as he continued to stare at the reflection, only to be interrupted when the giant bat had launched a flying kick that sent the former destroyer careening into the pavement.

"My patience is thinning." The bat said right when he picked up Unicron by the throat. "State your reasoning for being here!" Suddenly, a giant boxing glove had popped right out of one of the various asylum windows and hit the bat hard in the side which was then followed up by a maniacal laugh that belonged to a disfigured clown that jumped right outside of the opening that he had created. Unicron noted that the clown looked heavily disfigured with his face being crudely held on by several staples with the face itself being permanently contorted into a sadistic grin, his skin was stark white with green, messy hair and red lipstick on his face.

"BA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA! Oh Bats, you just can't keep falling for that same trick! For with you doing that, it becomes increasingly more and more difficult for me to come up with jokes." The clown said as he approached the Dark Knight but not before turning his attention to the nude Unicron to his right.

"So nudity distracts you... I can work with that." The clown stated and with one powerful tug, he ripped the dark blue jumpsuit straight off, letting his privates flow freely in the cold Gotham air. Batman's expression didn't even show a minor hint of disgust once he got back up on his feet.

"Both you and that stranger will be sharing a cell together Joker." Batman growled as he got into a fighting pose. "Oh goody, another buddy for me?! Aw Bats, you really are too kind." Joker said with a mocking tone, Batman then charged for the clown with Unicron joining the fray also. Batman made the first move with a right hook that Joker quickly dodged, making room for Unicron's fist to come crashing into the Dark Knight's gut. Batman could feel his ribs shatter under pressure, leaving him confused about the stranger's titanic strength.

"Grgh... what in th-" Batman was then knocked out cold by the clown prince kicking him right in the jaw.

"Good riddance." Joker said as he then proceeded to blow a raspberry at the unconscious hero and after a few seconds, turned towards Unicron and held out his hand only for the former destroyer to not take it after noticing the joy buzzer.

"You didn't fall for it? Wow, you're a lot smarter than Bats already." Joker commented, "Wait here." he then burst into the asylum and in a few seconds, came out with a purple suit, orange vest, and a green undershirt. "Ahhh... now that feels much better. Now come my friend, with you at my side, Gotham will be painted in red... or how about polka dots?" Unicron didn't know what to think of his current plight and just when he was about to answer the clown's question. A civilian wearing a long sleeve orange shirt with what looked to be four bloodstained tears on the midsection and a gray vest along with gray skinny jeans and white tennis shoes, angrily stomped right through the gate of Arkham Asylum.

"Look my friend, new clothes, are you going to take the chance?" Joker whispered to the former destroyer and in just a few moments, Unicron's eyes became a solid green as he raised his hand and in a few seconds, a bright flash of light fired out of his fingertips that completely incinerated the man's head. Joker went to examine the body when he noticed a name tag in the pocket of the pants. Joker let out a hearty laugh once he noticed the name that was printed on the tag.

"HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! You took out this asylum's owner and that means there will be no order! Super powers make everything better!" Right after Joker finished, a huge swarm of inmates left Arkham as if they were waiting on cue. Unicron just ignored the prison break as he got dressed and once he was, he finally said his answer.

"Considering that I am unfamiliar with this world, very well, I accept your request." Unicron said as he set his hand on the clown's shoulder and in a few moments, Unicron managed to transport the two of them to Joker's lair with Harley Quinn rushing to greet them.

"PUDDIN'!" Harley yelled as she leaped for the Joker but instead missed her mark as she landed on Unicron instead. Harley continued to plant multiple kisses on the former destroyer with Joker laughing for about a minute until the former Suicide Squad member noticed just who exactly she was loving on and quickly jumped off in shock.

"I'M SO SORRY! I DID NO-" Joker raised his hand to silence his partner as he approached the blushing Unicron.

"My apologies for Harley's behavi- oh who am I kidding, THAT WAS COMEDY GOLD! BA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!" Joker continued to laugh for a few minutes with an angry Harley approaching the clown prince of crime.

"How dare you laugh at that! I was truthfully fearing for my li- OOF!" Joker had smacked his partner with the back of his left hand, leaving a very visible red mark on her face. Unicron's face began to boil with rage and just as Joker raised his hand for another strike, Unicron quickly gripped the clown prince's arm and squeezed, crushing the bone structure and causing it to bleed. Joker howled in pain while Unicron did not loosen his grip.

"I'm sorry, I did not realize abuse was a part of our partnership so even though we have just met. I am sorry but I cannot help you with your deeds so I will be taking the girl off of your hands and out of this environment!" Unicron growled while he mentally scolded himself for what he just said. Harley backed up against a nearby wall as she desperately tried to hold back tears.

"N-n-no, I'm fine, r-re-really." Harley choked out while watching the scene in front of her with Unicron only shaking his head in response.

"You're clearly not fine, all abuse victims in the galaxy I am from always say that they're fine for they're trying to cover up the emotional scars that were left by the experiences so listen to me, this man is not someone you should be with at all!" Unicron said with a raised voice while Joker raised his right hand in an attempt to punch the former destroyer, Unicron's instincts kicked in as he thrust his knee right into the Joker's stomach, knocking the clown prince out cold with Unicron then turning to meet Harley's eyes. A minute had passed before Harley finally made her decision.

"I will go with you." Harley said while she slowly got to her feet with Unicron only grinning in response as he lightly grasped her hand and transported her to an undisclosed location in his own universe, but was shocked to see that his appearance did not change at all.

* * *

><p>(<em>Destroyed Times Square: G2 Comic Era<em>)

"Damn you center of the universe." Unicron muttered to himself with Harley giving him a concerned glance. Unicron quickly took notice and gave a hand gesture to tell her that he was fine. Suddenly, a loud 'BOOM!' rang out behind the two as Optimus Prime flew backward into a tall skyscraper with a green and purple robot quickly approaching.

"Give it up Prime, this planet is mine and you know it!" The robot said right as he launched his fist forward, only to have it grabbed in midair by Optimus.

"Autobots never give up Megatron! Sideswipe now!" Optimus yelled and in just a few seconds, a black and red robot jumped off of the skyscraper with two SMGs at his side and began firing at Megatron, lining him with a hail of energy bullets. The Decepticon leader lifted his arms up in an attempt to cover his optics with Prime taking his chance to grab Unicron and Harley.

"Hold on." Prime said to the two and in just a few seconds, the Autobot leader transformed into his semi-truck form and sped away from the battle just as the other Autobots arrived on the scene to combat the tyrant. Harley was grasping Unicron's arm with the latter saying nothing in response.

"We'll be arriving at HQ soon and don't worry, Megatron will not come for us." Prime said and as if it was a bad omen, a missile suddenly collided with the ground, causing Optimus to transform back into his robot mode with the two still in his hand. Optimus looked up to see that the missile came from none other than the formerly deceased Decepticon Air Commander Starscream.

"PATHETIC FOOLS! YOU CAN'T ESCAPE THE GLORY OF STARSCREAM!" The air commander bellowed and soon after, he transformed back into his F-15 alt mode and continued his attack. Optimus kept on his feet to avoid the null ray shots for a few minutes when he thankfully found Kup nearby. The Autobot leader then quickly made a break for the old veteran and once he did, he quickly passed the pair to Kup.

"Take these two to HQ now." Prime ordered with Kup just giving him a concerned look as he took the two.

"What about you?" Kup questioned.

"I've got a bogey that needs to be dealt with, now go." Prime responded and in just a few moments, Kup drove off with the heroic leader then looking directly at his quickly approaching attacker.

"HA! HA! HA! Aren't we getting confident now, well too bad Prime, your lack of friends will be your demise!" Starscream shouted, increasing his speed exponentially in an attempt to ram the Autobot leader. Optimus braced himself for the impact and jumped on top of the Seeker once he got close enough.

"HEY! LET GO!" Starscream shouted as he attempted to transform with Prime then grabbing the wings and ripping them clean off, sending Starscream careening into a pile of rubble. Optimus then quickly got off of the downed Seeker and offered him a hand just as he transformed into robot mode.

"Please Starscream, we don't have to be enemies." Optimus pleaded as Starscream got on his feet. "You know as well as I do that the Autobots and Decepticons used to live in peace and harmony and that Megatron has corrupted you, please stop this meaningless battle." Starscream didn't answer at all as he then charged for the Autobot leader with the latter just shaking his head in response.

"So be it, although I wont take any pride in this." Optimus thought as he deployed his orange energon axe. Starscream continued to charge for the leader, still blinded by his rage to the point that he couldn't see the axe cutting him in two from the waist up until it was too late. Starscream looked directly at the Autobot leader and any bit of bravado that he had before was completely gone as he shifted into full coward mode.

"Please! Spare me, have mercy oh great Optimus Prime!" Starscream cried out with Prime just staring at him in response, unsure of whether or not he should cater to his request. It was at this point that Optimus noticed how much suffering that the Seeker was going through as he writhed in pain, desperately trying to stop the energon from constantly leaking from his wound. Optimus took a long deep breath and made his decision, all of the motions after that felt like they were going in slow motion as Optimus lifted his axe and brought it down hard into Starscream's skull, effectively killing him instantly. Optimus then retracted his axe and looked at the lifeless body of the Air Commander.

"May Primus have mercy on your spark." Prime said solemnly while slowly walking away from the scene with regret washing over him.


End file.
